The Increasing Polarization Between Men and Women

This article is jointly authored by guest writer and Dialectic President Quinn Lichterman and staff writer Sofia Garnica Aguilar Alvarez.

Subject to widespread attention, political polarization has notably increased dramatically over the last decade. Less noticeable, and perhaps more concerning, is a dramatic increase in polarization among young men and women. With growing online movements like “incel” culture, it seems as if the problem is that young men are increasingly locked in misogynistic echo chambers. This movement is in line with political polarization, where women aged 18 to 29 are now 15 percentage points more likely to identify as liberal than men in the same group. What factors contribute to this alienation of men and the subsequent rise in misogyny? 

As one possible explanation, it is young men who are now falling behind by the numbers. In the next five years, for every man who graduates college, we can expect two female graduates. Young men are three times more likely to overdose, four times more likely to commit suicide, and 14 times more likely to be incarcerated.  

At the same time, social divides are strong and developing. Liberal shifts among young women, coupled with liberal social movements such as #MeToo, have left men feeling like they are the ones being increasingly discriminated against. White men in particular vocalize this sentiment, coinciding with increased attacks on Critical Race Theory. In essence, movements brought about to expose severe problems linked with the patriarchy have made men, individually, feel villainized. As Andrew Tate puts it,  “We’re tired of being told that we have this massive privilege, while our lives are extremely difficult.”

This is all also occurring while marriage rates are way down and rates of single women are particularly high, and when young men more frequently express difficulties getting a girlfriend. This, dating apps, the pandemic, “toxic masculinity”, and more lead to a “loneliness epidemic” which some argue has hit significantly harder for men.

As a consequence of some, or all, of these factors is a rise in misogyny. Some scholars have argued that “the effective mechanism of resentment transforms loneliness into antagonistic emotions.”  In any case, while the link between the failings and loneliness of men and the uptick in misogynistic activity are not proven, the rise of misogyny is an incontrovertible modern-day reality. The rise of popular communities like Incels and Sigmas (not just a meme) and of popular influencers like Andrew Tate, Elon Musk, Jordan Peterson, and Joe Rogan, amplify this. Social media algorithms sustain it further, exemplified by the popular comment “OnlyFans detected, opinion rejected.” In extreme cases, hate crimes, such as the mass shooting in 2014 by Elliot Rodgers who killed 6 people and then himself, have left paper trails or manifestos closely aligned with Incel doctrines. 

A Male Perspective

As horrible as this example is, the day-to-day misogyny displayed on social media is the key issue in my personal experience. As a young man consuming social media content, I have seen misogynistic echo chambers. I have seen an increase in hateful comment sections, in hateful posts. I’ve even heard comments made by friends or family. They repulse me each and every time.

Yet at the same time, I am not surprised. I can’t count the number of times in my adult life I have hung out with female friends or in female-only social groups where phrases like “I hate men” or “kill all men” are uttered, followed by, “Oh, not you Quinn!” when they realize that one such man is present. The saying “you’re one of the good ones” undoubtedly has been predominantly used in racist and patriarchal contexts. In my personal life, it is increasingly instead linked to misandry. While these experiences, and other crucial ones have made me understand those drawn to these movements, I fortunately have never come that close to aligning myself with them. Other young men are not so fortunate. 

While the rise of misogyny is more hurtful and widespread, there may well be a potent and harmful rise in misandry as well. Together, they push men and women away from each other simultaneously, creating a political, social, and cultural divide. How can we address hateful consequences of each of these movements? Is this shift permanent? What are its effects?

A Female Perspective

As a woman of the 21st century, I grew up being told that there is inequality in the world. That I would be sexualized, minimized, and possibly brutalized because I am a woman—however, I was taught that I should push through it and rise above it. So, I got to work. I joined a thousand clubs, sports, and volunteer activities to get into the best possible college, so that my chances of having a good life and “rising above it” would be exponentially better. I did everything I could and more to get ahead of the misogyny that I knew was waiting for me out in the world, and I believe other women have done so as well. That is one of the reasons I believe men are falling behind in the numbers. 

Women, modern women, have been conditioned to believe and expect, with great reason, that the world is not welcoming, and they have adjusted accordingly. To me, who has done nothing but try her whole life, and to the many women who are also trying, the idea that men are falling behind, suffering a mental health crisis, and having a hard time, appears to be a symptom of their own inability to adjust and cope with an energized, motivated, and driven coalition of women. Men have been centered by practically all of recorded human history, and right when they are falling behind, right as women seem to be catching up, they suddenly feel the game is rigged? That it is unfair to them, who have had it all for millennia?

I don’t mean to diminish the very real struggles that people could have with mental health. I believe there is a genuine mental health crisis in the country right now, however, I do think it is important to ask ourselves: why is it that men are the ones struggling to ask for help? Who designed the system that makes asking for help, a harrowing task for men? I also do not want to be misconstrued as pointing the finger at men and telling them that they are the only ones with issues. Men as individuals are not necessarily the issue, at least not always, but the institutions and systems that they have been benefiting from are. The question now is, in a world where women have in some spaces overcome institutionalized discrimination, how can men who previously benefited from that discrimination cope? 

In my eyes, men have to, as a collective, take a deep look inwards and ask themselves why they feel threatened by women gaining equal footing with them in spheres like education. Men have to acknowledge how and why they are feeling powerless before they are able to take any significant action. Acknowledging those feelings might come with a similar realization as the one I had as a kid—a realization that they might have to now try harder since they don’t benefit from educational institutions as they used to. 

Regardless of how misogyny is best countered among men, there are clear deterrents against female or feminist involvement with burgeoning misogynists, which only contribute to their descent into echo chambers. Reading recent posts after the election, I have been terrified by statements blatantly endorsing rape and violent abuse of women with statements like “Your body, my choice. Forever,”, and “women threatening sex strikes like LMAO as if you have a say,”, having gone viral in response to the Donald Trump victory. Some of these young men found in misogynistic echo chambers touting their power over women are the same men who also complain about feeling powerless and discriminated against. How can men both be powerful and above women and also powerless and falling behind? 

What has caused men to perceive themselves this way, to feel both villainized and victimized, and to increasingly turn towards misogynistic channels of male empowerment?